A very sad day..

Missy, Niko, Kakay, Eio

Goodbyes are hard. Specially if you are saying good bye to someone you love. Today, we finally said goodbye to an uncle, these kids' grandpa, my aunts's husband, my cousins' father....

Syempre, hindi naman kami ganoon ka-close, dahil unang- una, hindi naman ganoon kalapit ang bahay nila sa amin. Pero malapit naman ako sa mga pinsan ko and just by looking at them, I can almost feel the sadness and the longing. But this is not a loss. This is the beginning of a new life in heaven. We should be happy for him. He has loved as a husband and as a father. He has put smiles in the hearts of his grandchildren. He has lived a full life.........he will be missed.

Ehm and Ykaie

This is a bad night for me.
No stars in the sky. 
A very bad sign. 
Rain is good.

Raindrops will fall like tears in the night.

Good morning pa din..

Hindi nga ako napuyat sa shop,kaya lang maysakit si Ykaie kahapon.Namerwisyo na sya simula 1am.kaya heto,kulang na naman ako sa tulog.I assumed yesterday na yung sinat nya eh side effect nung measles vaccine last last week.Sabi kasi nung pediatrician,it's possible na lagnatin sya after 7-10 days,as a side effect nung vaccine.Pero kaninang mga 3am,parang there's something na masakit sa mouth nya.I'll take her to the hospital later.

Grabe, super hirap ng feeling kapag ganito.Kapag mommy ka,you know you can do anything for your child.Kahit di ka na matulog,kumain o anu pa man.Ang hirap yata nung antok na antok ka na tapos pinapa-tahan mo pa si baby,reassuring her that you are with her and everything will be okay.O kaya yung antok na antok ka na pero kinukuwentuhan mo pa si baby ng masasayang kwento para lang malibang sya to take her mind off the things that are hurting her. You try to sound upbeat but inside naaawa ka sa kanya.Hindi mo kasi alam kung anong masakit sa kanya.Kung pwede nga lang na ilipat na lang sayo kung ano man yung nararamdaman nya,gagawin mo.

I got scared kasi antok na antok na ako kagabi...what if makatulugan ko sya tapos biglang tumaas yung temperature nya?What if buhat-buhat ko sya tapos madapa kami or mahulog sa hagdan? What if di ko sya nare-reassure that I'm there for her ?

But everything turned out fine.Bumaba na yung temperature nya.Ayun,she's sleeping with her lola now. I had to get up at 8am because I had to open up the computer shop.

Yung mag ganitong experiences? It's wonderful and scary at the same time.

Realization

Take time to realize, Oh oh, I'm on your side
Didn't I, didn't I tell you?
Take time, to realize this all can pass you by
DIdn't I tell you?

But I can't spell it out for you,
no it's never gonna be that simple,
 No I can't, spell it out for you

Pouring my Heart Out

"There are no guarantees. Who we are now probably won’t be who we are tomorrow. We won’t always be happy. We will fight and argue about a lot of things.But if I don’t marry him, I know I’ll regret not trying to make it work with him because he has completed my life in a lot of ways. I know I would always want to share life's little & BIG adventures with him. So I did it."

-Taken from my blog Call Me Mrs.,May 2007
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*Sigh*
Di ako makangiti.Ayoko makipag-argue.Di kasi ako masaya kapag nag-aargue tayo.
Di din ako masaya kapag nag-eexplain kasi pakiramdam ko lagi na lang akong mali.
Minsan nga kahit simpleng bagay,yung pang-araw-araw...ganun pa din yung pakiramdam ko.
Sensitive lang ba ako? OA? Di naman diba?
Main reason kaya minsan wala rin akong opinyon kapag tinatanong mo ko.

I wish we don't have expectations..
Life is different now.
Iba noon,Iba ngayon.
People adjust to the situations that they're in.
kasi some things are just NOT APPLICABLE.
I learned to let go of my expectations right from the start.

Sabi mo nga dati: "Everything are just minor details"
Well those minor details??Sila ang reason kung bakit babangon ako ng maga ang mata bukas.


It's like being married to two different people at times(Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde Syndrome)

minsan masakit din..
pero pinababayaan ko na lang ang pakiramdam..

Bakit?? Di na yata ako marunong makipag-communicate..
o pagod na ako trying to communicate??
Ewan.

Di ako makapag-blog ng maayos.Magulo yung utak ko (halata naman)..

Sana mayroon na lang akong time machine..tapos pwede ko i-freeze yung mga moments...
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..........................at the end of each day,
I'm still HAPPY that YOU are the one sharing life's adventure with me.
♥♥♥